The Perfect Storm!
The Perfect Storm!
A year ago I sat in my bedroom, sad, angry, desperately seeking the answers to WHY am I still in this place, this job, this situation. I’m a highly energetic person and I was having difficulty even getting out of bed. A dear friend came to me and shared her concern that I was becoming depressed; I was not myself.
Sit. With. Me. (please...)
Obedience
and surrender without actually agreeing with God about our circumstances is nothing
more than a two-year old temper tantrum.
A year ago I sat in my bedroom, sad, angry, desperately seeking the answers to WHY am I still in this place, this job, this situation. I’m a highly energetic person and I was having difficulty even getting out of bed. A dear friend came to me and shared her concern that I was becoming depressed; I was not myself.
I did all
the “right things’: went to the doctor, listened to friends, read the Bible,
prayed, plodded through my daily life of responsibilities. I kept hearing this
whisper, “Sit with me”. Okay, so I did that too. I sat with God every day, in a
very comfy chair. I was thankful that winter was somewhat brutal and cold,
because it gave me an excuse to wear sweats and sit for hours just reading and
disengaging from the world. It took effort to cook and function, but I did it.
Sit. With. Me. (please...)
I continued
to hear this whisper, “Sit with me”. I kept sitting, thinking all along I was
being just SO obedient to God. I was surrendering myself to sitting and
listening and being with God. Instead of medication, my doctor recommended a
prayer partner, someone that could meet with me and just be there as an ear or
a person to walk through this with regularly. So I “prayed” about who that
would be. Several names came to me and I dismissed them all, until God placed
the exact right, unexpected person in this place.
We began to
meet regularly, reading the Bible, talking, well, me more talking than her and
just wading through all the stuff. I had two struggles, job and singleness. I
was flat out angry about not getting what I wanted, when I wanted it. After
all, I heard from God three years prior that it was time to move on and start
the search process. I just didn’t understand.
One Saturday
morning, I made a very bold, exasperated statement at coffee: “Well, what am I
supposed to do in the meantime?! My prayer partner had an answer; and what I
would come to recognize later was this was the lesson-changing moment. I said YES to a Book Study, Divine Woman
101, with ladies from her church.
It was many
weeks later, the lesson hit me between my very selfish eyes and my “snarky”
attitude: Cheryl, AGREE WITH GOD about where He has you, about WHY you are
there and if you don’t do it anyway; trust him for real!! Sure, surrender and
obedience are step one and two. But without AGREEMENT, this is just a teenager
saying to their parent, Fine, whatever, but I don’t really want to. My heart
was so hardened and focused on what I thought he was telling me and where he
was leading me, I kind of forgot to look up and see if I was still following
him.
That moment
was such a strong moment for me, I will never forget. My prayer partner told me
she actually saw transformation in me, physically, in my facial expressions, in
my restlessness.
Proverbs
3:5-8
Trust in the Lord with
all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.[a]
and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.[a]
7 Do not
be wise in your own eyes;
fear the Lord and shun evil.
8 This will bring health to your body
and nourishment to your bones.
fear the Lord and shun evil.
8 This will bring health to your body
and nourishment to your bones.
It was only
then, I began to TRULY obey God; it was like I was released from this bondage;
from this place of ick, prickliness, from this straight jacket. I invited women
to my home for the book study that I had done in the summer. The timing was
absolutely NOT mine, but I said yes anyway. I said yes when I knew it was God.
Proverbs 3:6
In all your ways submit to him and he will make your paths straight.
HE DID. I
got a call in September about the job from the previous year, which set the
wheels in motion for what God had been doing all along. You see He heard me; He
knew; He was working for three years on the perfect fit, not just for my job,
but for my witness to him, for my glory to Him. He was just waiting on ME to
see it, to agree, to focus on HIM again.
Obedience
has become my new favorite thing because I feel free from angst. I feel right,
I feel more gentle and alive inside. I feel more connected, in fact, the desire
to be with God at times overwhelms me. I’m doing things that I do not feel
confident about, but each time I’ve said yes with true agreement in His plan, he
has NEVER let me down. Shocking news?? Not really, He’s been this way for our
whole lives; it just takes some of us a bit longer to get the lesson.
So what now?
I remain obedient, even when it’s not easy or comfortable or the timing is not
ideal. I KNOW that God’s got my back, because I feel him, I sense Him, and I
see the glory through the people He places in my path.
Lesson
Learned: Surrender, obey, BUT agree first and always. It was and continues to be the perfect storm
that changed me to the core!
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<www.cherylbmitchell.com>
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Where has that perfect storm revealed itself to you?
<www.cherylbmitchell.com>
