The Day I Climbed Over A Mountain

I went on a hike, the other day, to a place called Diablo Lake. It's a beautiful slice of Gods creation here in the Pacific Northwest. In fact, it is nestled in one of the most beautiful pieces of landscape in the U.S. called the American Alps aka the Northern Cascades. It's absolutely stunning there with the snow peaks and the beautiful, lush valleys and pristine glacier lakes. 

Photo Credit: Melissa Elsner

Photo Credit: Kaari Haaland

What brought this hike on was, a result of a year that had me working on my physical health. I had started eating differently and became more active. Running was now in my vocabulary. Running was something I scoffed at and purposefully researched the hazards of, just so I could have good reason to not do it. Now, here I am preparing to train for a half marathon next year. It just boggles my mind how perspectives can change... and rather quickly, at that.

So, in my attempt to remain active and build upon my core strength and all that, I decided I wanted to hike. The outdoors were calling my name. I knew I would be wise to begin with a rather easy hike and so, upon my very quick and, rather careless, research, I found that Diablo Lake might suit me well.
It began all well and good. I felt challenged. I felt pushed. Not to my limits but, I definitely was breathing harder, feeling the pull on my body and energy; knowing that I would feel it the next day. The view was amazing and I was in complete awe over God's creativity and ingenuity. The mountain peaks, the valleys and how He purposefully placed each tree and plant to create unity, rhythm, variety, line, texture and all those other elements us artists think about when we create. He painted a masterpiece with nature and I got to take it all in, on the way to the lake.

The thing that I was not aware of, or maybe I was just in denial about, was that the hike was both up... and down. Not just up... and then down. But up and down both directions with very comparible inclines and declines. As we began the descent to the lake, I remember thinking, and dreading, that we were going to have to hike back up this to get back. I knew it was going to be hard. I knew it would probably stretch me. And I was not looking forward to it.

I tried my best to ignore that reality while I sat by the lake and took it all in. The water was clear and pure and refreshing. The butterflies we saw were huge and beautiful. The sounds of the birds and water lapping up against the rocks was so peaceful and soothing. This was God's land. This was His fingerprint. His masterpiece. His creation. And He was proudly displaying it for me to see.

Now, let me stop here for a moment and let's just discuss how intriguing it is to me that, one of God's beautiful creations has the name Diablo Lake. For those of you who do not know Spanish, the word diablo means devil. Nice, right? It can even be used as an expletive in Spanish. When it's taken from the Greek, it means to throw apart or scatter - to divide. This is important information as I begin to take onto the next part of my hiking journey. I really do believe it to be relevant to the whole story.

The reality of having to begin the steep climb had now arrived. We barely began and I realized this was not going to be good. It was not going to be easy. My breathing, immediately, became labored (I suffer from mild asthma) and I felt the twinge in all my climbing muscles. No, this was not going to be good. After I caught my breath, we took a few more steps. I had to stop again. Then, a few more steps. Stop. Few more steps. Stop. Pretty soon, I realized I wasn't going to make it. This was going to be impossible and I should never have gone on this hike. How could I have ever thought I could do this or thought I was ready for this? The incline was steep and we weren't even close to halfway. No, I wasn't going to make it. But, what was I to do? We were in the middle of nowhere. I had no choice but to keep going.

Finally, at some point and that point I do not remember exactly, I silently plead to God, "please help me! I can't do this on my own God. I need a miracle. I need a miraculous touch from you to push me forward. I can't do this." I didn't feel a magical push or sudden burst of divine energy. Instead, I felt more pain and breathing became more difficult. I felt my heart pounding in my chest and my head began to feel detached from the rest of my body. My thoughts began to lead to, "what if I die up here? what if I don't get to see tomorrow?" I finally called out to my hiking buddy, "I can't do this! I don't think I can do this!" Hello... can you see how the lakes name was living up to it's meaning here?

God has an interesting way of doing things. Sometimes we don't know what He is doing until a few days later when we are in a more right mind and can look back at a moment with more reasonable thoughts, clearer heads and open hearts. In the heat of a challenging moment, for me especially, I'm not open to everything. All I know is how I feel in that exact moment and what I want. In that exact moment, I wanted a helicopter to appear and lift me up or I wanted that magical push and surge of energy. I wasn't getting either of those things.

So, did God leave me? Did He ignore my cries?

It's easy to think so but, no. He absolutely did not and, as I type this through my tears, I know and realize that He was closer to me than I have ever let Him be before. I was in the most vulnerable place I have ever been in my life. Whether I'm a dramatic sort or not, I literally thought I was not going to make it. I was filled with fear for all the "what ifs" and I hated every moment. The trees were not beautiful, the mountain peaks were not majestic and the sun was a complete nuisance and evil presence. I can giggle, through my tears, at all that because at this moment, I am sitting comfortably on my bed. I have a fan pointed at me that is pushing a delicious breeze over my body while I sit quite snug up against my fluffy pillows. Today, the sun was not evil but, it was lovely warming my skin. The trees were beautiful and Mt. Baker was showing off and quite magnificent off in the distance.

My how my perspective changed over the last 48+ hours. Multiple times, at that!

So, where is the lesson in all this? Where is the sermon illustration? What does this all mean and how can it possibly relate to anyone reading this?

I don't know but, I'm going to share with you what it meant for me personally.

There is a song that I love to lead at church called Oceans (Where Feet May Fail). I always call it a dangerous song to pray because the bridge has the following words:

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters, wherever you would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will become stronger, in the presence of my Savior

I call these dangerous for a few reasons:

Do you realize what you are asking God when you are singing this? Lead me... without borders... wherever... deeper... faith become stronger... presence of my Savior. Those are DEEP requests and God does not take them lightly. If this is a song you want to cry out to God then, you better be ready for His answers. Without borders means just that. There is no negotiation. There is no "without borders buuuuut... could you not make me do that God? Or go there or do that?" Without borders means... everything is game. Think about the phrase "Deeper than my feet could ever wander." When we wade in a shallow pool and our feet are touching the ground, that usually means our heads are still above the water. We can see what's around us. We are still breathing in oxygen. We still feel in control and stable. But, the minute we reach that depth that has our heads bobbing under water, we know we better turn around and head back for the shallow end if we want to keep walking. But, this song... these words... we're saying to Jesus... take me deeper! That requires TRUST. A big, humongous bucket load of trust! You are trusting HIM to be your oxygen. To be your guide and strength. You're asking Him to take you somewhere you can't go on your own. There is no compromise or negotiation with this one either!
And the end part of this prayer is the outcome... we want our faith to, ultimately, be stronger because of what we are asking the Holy Spirit... God... to do.

Whoa nelly. I bet you'll be singing that differently, in church, the next time won't you? I actually went through a brief season of not singing it when that song was done because of these very reasons. I was not in a place where I was ready to fully let go. I wasn't doing very well, spiritually, and just didn't have the faith or the strength to let go. The last time I led it, I sang it with gusto. I fully believed in and trusted in God with those requests and words. I figured, I know this is a gutsy request and would probably test me to the limit but, with God... all things are possible!!!

Little did I know how He was going to fulfill this request. My oh my how taken off gaurd I was going to be to experience something that would take my faith to a whole other level.

You see, as I write this all out, God answered my prayer through that song in a way I never could have imagined. And that brings up another important piece of scripture, that I have been "safe praying" through the past six years. It's a passage from Ephesians that someone once prayed over me. I have since declared it my personal prayer and have been secretly waiting to see how God was going to answer it. There have been many moments, since then, that I thought were His way of answering and I certainly believe they were! But, they were also building up to the next thing and the next moment and the next thing and the next...

Ephesians 3:14-21

Let's focus on two parts of this prayer... In verse 18 - 19, it speaks about grasping how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ. Then, in verse 20, it begins to draw a close to the prayer with the truth that HE is able to do immeasurably more than we could ever ask or imagine.

Do you truly understand how BIG and POWERFUL our God is?

Do you?

Do you really?

Seriously?

Are you sure?

I thought I did. I thought I knew. Now, I'm not so sure anymore. I think He is bigger than I could ever understand. It goes beyond my comprehension. And that was proven to me on this hike.

Okay, so I'm about to bring this all together... the hike... the song... the verse.

We can never fully understand how mighty our God is. It is too big for our human brains and hearts. I truly believe that, the day we are able to count the number of stars in the sky, the hairs on our heads or the grains of sand, will be the day we get it. And when will that day come? I don't know that we'll ever know those things but, I believe it won't happen until we are in Heaven, worshipping Him with all the angels. And we will be worshipping Him because we will know... it will suddenly make sense and we won't want to do anything else but fall at His feet and worship and sing and praise and exalt His name forever and ever and ever.

I was given a tiny glimpse of this with this hike.

It was not me that climbed back over that mountain. It was not by my strength. God took me deeper than my feet could ever wander. He guided me somewhere physically, that I could never go on my own. I lost all my physical strength. I had nothing left. And I'm not being dramatic here. I'm being very real. My legs were not moving by my own strength. My heart was not pounding because I kept moving. The breath I was taking was not because I was controlling my diaphragm. All of those tiny moments were happening because God was guiding me. He was doing immeasurably more than I could have ever asked or imagined.

I climbed a mountain. Twice, technically. My water was a physical act of moving. Trusting that God DID give me His strength to get me over the hump. While I didn't feel that sudden surge of energy or whatever, I think that was so that I wouldn't get caught up in my own strength, as I so easily do. God knows me so well! He loves me too much to answer my prayer that way!

Here is what I'm taking away from all this - God is real. He is strong. He answers prayers. He is big and powerful and mighty and just and merciful. It's interesting that, through that whole ordeal, I had peace. At the time it was unexplainable but, now... now I know. In my most vulnerable moment to date, the Holy Spirit breathed life into me during that hike. He gave the exact breath I needed. The exact strength I needed to get back over that mountain.
Not more. Not less. The exact amount so that I would have to continually rely on it.

Wow.

WOW.

The cliche question to ask at the end of these writing pieces or sermons is, "I don't now where you are at..." but, it's kind of a good leading question to the next piece of this. I really don't know and you need to know that so that you can take this and apply it to your personal journey however God sees fit. But, here is the truth that I know... God wants every single part of us. He wants us to fully trust in Him. He wants us to find JOY and PEACE in knowing that He is faithful and true. We don't need to have fear or shame or anxiety or doubt or worry because those are NOT from God! When He moves... when He answers our prayers... those feelings disolve. Peace washes over us. Maybe, like in my situation, we're still feeling the physical pain and it's hard for us to see the other part of what we are experiencing until the pain subsides. I knew I had peace because I kept going. I remember, in the midst of my labored breathing and physical pain, that I had a peace. And now, that the pain and all the emotion that came with that, has dissipated, I remember that peace.

I know who was with me.
I know who walked beside me.
I know who walked behind me and in front of me.
I know He IS and will continue to do immeasurably more than I could ever conceive to ask or imagine. And now, that faith I requested in the song Oceans... it has grown. And now, my prayer is it would never leave me and I can always remember the day I climbed over a mountain.

May HIS PEACE rule over your heart today and forever.