The Ins and Outs of Decision Making

Making decisions is hard.

Sometime even the smallest decision is frustrating. - What should I wear today?

Medium size decisions can be a pain too. - Should we have a superbowl party?

Big decisions weigh on us like a bag of bricks. Sometimes we can literally feel the crushing weight as we go about our daily tasks.
- Should I take the job and move my family?
- Am I going to pursue saving this marriage after a painful breach of trust?
- What can we do about dad’s failing health?

Decisions are a pain. For a few reasons.

BLAME
We have to take responsibility for our decisions. Most of us don’t want to screw up and have our decision come back to haunt us.

• I don’t want to dress inappropriately and look out of place. Plus I don’t want to wear something uncomfortable and be distracted by it the rest of the day.

On a more significant scale the implications are much further reaching. Frankly, we don’t want to be blamed when things go wrong.

• If I take this job and my family hates it there, will they resent me forever?

COMFORT
We don’t want to put anyone through anything painful.
Including ourselves.

• Will the kids like their new school? Will they make friends? Will they be miserable and not tell me? Will they hate it and make all of us miserable?
• Will I be able to stand to be around my husband after how he screwed up? Will he ever be trustworthy again? Will I always be angry with him?

MORALITY
We want to do the right thing.

Well, aren’t you sweet. Yeah, but seriously. For many people making the “right” decision is about seeking to do God’s will. This is a complicated area and we can get into all sorts of discussions about whether ANYONE is capable of doing the right thing for the right reasons, but for now we’ll just take note that correct action is a real motivator.

Complicating the goal to “do the right thing,” is that often it seems emotion can cloud one’s good judgment. Sometimes outsiders can more clearly see what’s best.
But then again, they don’t have all the information I have so maybe they DON’T know! Ok, it's complicated.


Decisions are a pain. My husband and I are not known for our keen decision making. We can go back and forth about what to do for dinner, as if we are debating the future of the free world. It’s ridiculous.

But I’ve found that as I’ve gained a better understanding of the true Gospel, decision making has gotten a little easier.

You might make a mistake. That’s ok.

The Gospel says Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross forgives all my sins and shortcomings. There’s no way I’m going to do this life perfectly. Just not in the cards. This doesn’t mean we don’t give it our best shot, but it means we don’t have to live under the guilt either. Confession of our mistakes means we can come to God, righteous in the blood of the lamb, and ask Him to take away our guilt and angst.

Suffering is part of the package. But so is the comfort of Christ.

Sometimes we have to make decisions that require discomfort. Whether it’s moving away from friends, working through the painful parts of a marriage, or finding a caregiver for Dad. The Bible doesn’t say life will be easy. It doesn’t say the better we “do” the better we will feel. It doesn’t say if you make the right decisions, things will always go great.

It says we will not be abandoned (Deut 31:6). It says we should lean on the church community He created for us (Hebrews 10:24-25). It says we can find forgiveness (I John 1:9) and sustenance (Psalm 54:4) in the One who made everything and created us for such a time as this (Romans 8:28).

There’s more than one right answer.

Does this decision line up with serving my neighbor? There’s more than one way to serve your neighbor. You can do it here in this community, or you can serve your neighbor over there in that community. Of course it’s key to keep in mind that our first-priority-neighbors are the ones in our family. If you have said vows or given birth it’s necessary that you take the well-being of those people into consideration first. You have a call to serve them first. And if you are a spouse or a parent there are some expectations spelled out for you in the Word about how to best do your job. So it’s not a complete mystery.

Making decisions is tough but living in the grace of Christ changes things. Again.
Holding onto God’s promises isn’t just about knowing where are going for eternity. It can also have real life useful implications for how we live our lives.

Praise God.